Thai’d The Knot
The polar opposite to the order of Japan, another out-of-this-world experience in Thailand
BANGKOK NIGHTS (2)
The order and cleanliness of Japan could not have felt further away after landing in Bangkok (another ~7 hour flight from Tokyo). We landed and instantly were reminded of the strict laws and militaristic rule that governed the nation. Shrines to the recently departed king (more later) were everywhere, and the primary order was imparted by the heavily armed guards, or guard-looking security, stationed at every turn. We made our way through immigration and customs, and while we had nothing to hide, the security videos and stern guards certainly made us feel uneasy.
Our train ride into the city seemed to take forever, passing neighborhoods of mirrored skyscrapers and enormous malls separated by miles of raised highways and decaying apartments. When we reached the end of the line, we hopped off the train and called an Uber; our first of many in the country. The communication was clear and following the car on the map made us feel a bit more at ease amongst all the pedicabs, tuk-tuks and unmarked cars who kept pulling over offering us a ride.
TEMPLE RUN
While we only had two evenings in Bangkok, we made a push to get to the sights that we could. Wat Pho, a 16th Century Buddhist Temple, and home of The Reclining Buddha. There were loads of tourists, buddhist monks, and some foreign TV star we weren't allowed film. Every temple and structure was incredibly ornate, and fairly easy to navigate. Even though we'd planned ahead, Molly was still forced to change her top at Wat Phra Kaew to be more modest.
The longest reigning king at 70 years, King Bhumibol the Great died three months before we arrived. On his death, the monarchy declared a year-long mourning period. Locals were required to wear black, and especially in Bangkok, every corporation, mall, hotel and public building had ornate shrines featuring the king throughout his life. Thai Airways even added video tributes to their safety videos. When we arrived at the Grand Palace, endless streams of black-clad mourners stretched around the temple and palace grounds, apparently brought by their corporations to pay their respects. Banners marked with Global Companies like Pepsi adorned tables holding stacks of box lunches, doled out to the mourners as they made their way closer to the palace.
PHUKET RESORT
We landed in Phuket to unseasonable torrential rains, that caused mudslides throughout the region but luckily only caused a few inconveniences on our week. We rented a car because we knew we wanted to explore beyond the resort's walls, which besides the torrential rain, driving on the wrong side of the road, and a Google Maps error that sent us down a motorcycle road closed by a mudslide, made navigating the country pretty easy. While we were in the lowest-level building, we had access to everything the JW Marriott had to offer, which was incredible, the kind of place we'd only seen in movies; multiple pools, landscaped paths torch-lit at night and different animal-shaped towels every time we returned to our suite.
The breakfast we had pulled out all the stops: fresh cut bowls of every fruit we could want, including local offerings like mango and jackfruit, breakfast soups, manned stations for anything you could want, and a latte delivered with my name on it. It was all very impressive, but a bit more whitewashed than even the rest of the resort areas. After two meals and a few dozen resort-fees, we decided to start exploring the surrounding areas rather than the Marriott accommodations.
RESORT TOWNS
Leaving the confines of the resort also opened us up to the raw offerings of the resort towns. Old Town Phuket was quaint, and we found both authentic, locals-only Thai offerings, and an over-priced, tourist coffee shop. The beaches, especially Patong, were dirty, over-crowded, and full of vendors. The streets nearby were full of loud-bars, street-food, booths of bootleg merchandise and massage parlors, lots of massage parlors.
While traffic clogged around the city, the streets were modern and easy to navigate, as long as Google maps kept us on the right roads. We didn't find much there relaxing.
MONKEY SHRINES
On first appearance, the monkeys at Wat Suwan Khuha were wild and adventurous and Instagram fodder. However, five minutes of watching tourists feed them bananas and junk food and watching them scamper past our feet looking for more food was enough for us. We then paid the admission and explored the shrine. The size and scope was impressive as were the figures and statues. Each of the temples and shrines we explored were beautiful and ornate and carved into the land in unique ways. The Wat Suwan Khuha wasn't nearly as daunting as the Wat Than Sua, the Tiger Cave Temple in Krabi.
No tigers, but plenty more monkeys surrounding the 12,000+ step descent to the top of a mountain (we saved the second half for another trip).
FEELIN' KRABI
When we told our parents we'd be traveling to Thailand for our Honeymoon, their first question were both "Why don't you just go to Hawaii?" After flying 24 hours to Tokyo, 8 to Bangkok, 2 to Phuket and then taking a boat or driving another 2+ hours to Krabi, we finally found the paradise we were looking for, and I think understood why they asked if we would have rather gone to Hawaii.
Krabi was really special. We drove from Phuket, without issue but past numerous Military checkpoints, one unpaved road, some mudslide remnants. We passed markets, roadside food stands and numerous families on a motorcycle. We found an adorable outdoor restaurant Ruen Mai which was the best, fresh and recognizable Thai food to us. We then found our way to the longtail boats.
Knowing it was the only way to get to Railay beach, and choosing the boat with the highest ratio of life jackets to passengers and the best-looking boat, Molly got over her fears and we hopped on to Railay.
Arriving in Railay was another disorienting experience. Some, bound for island-based resorts, drug their luggage across the beach and through the narrow pathways. We truly found paradise here, even though we knew we'd have to quite a journey ahead of us, so we begrudgingly turned around and began our trip back.
REMOTE LOCATIONS
One of the best experiences was a day-long boat tour we booked from Phuket, at a decent cost. We joined about a dozen others on a day-long chartered speedboat, complete with drinks, snacks and a private lunch when we got to Andaman Beach. They took us to a number of predestined stops, including Ko Phi Phi Le, the island from The Beach. It was immersive, enveloping and beautiful. It was also full of tourists, boats, peddlers and even a snack bar. The aqua waters were beautiful, and floating, diving and laying out was quite enjoyable, but still not quite the respite you're looking for on your honeymoon.
EVEN MORE REMOTE LOCATIONS
Our running joke for the week in Phuket was "James Bond Island." Prominently featured in one of the lower-ranked Bond films (The Man With The Golden Gun), the limestone pillars and beach-side cliffs served as the liar of the villain. Every time we drove we saw signs advertising James Bond Island. We'd drive North, South, East and West, and everywhere featured advertisements for James Bond Island. Each time we followed a different set of signs, we'd eventually arrive at a deserted pier, save for a few locals in dragon boats and Chinese tour buses.
Every boat operator was friendly and spoke English, and quoted us various prices to go to the island. Each time we considered taking them up on their offer, Molly would deem the ordeal too sketchy and we'd turn around. One of the stops seemed promising when we came upon a "museum" and props that could have been from the movie, but it was long-closed and abandoned.
Our last day on the island we vowed to try one-last-time to reach James Bond Island. Luckily there was one final set of signs for us to follow. This set led us on the longest dirt road, and after a 30 minute drive without seeing nary another vehicle, we once again found ourselves at another abandoned pier. We saw an old man eating fish over a table-top grill, and a few guys on bikes. After staring at the empty scene for long enough, one of these guys rode up to our car and asked the familiar question "James Bond Island?" This time we said "how much" and were quoted an extremely fair price for a private, chartered boat tour.
We paid the guy our money, who promptly biked to the old man eating the grilled fish, paid him a fee, and then rode off to get his boat. He returned with a boat, two kids and a handful of life jackets. They proceeded to take us to caves, caverns, and we passed tons of massive cliffs, pillars and out of this world landscapes. We stopped at a number of them, but passed on a few opportunities, saving ourselves for James Bond Island. I'll leave it to you to discover on your own, but sometimes, as the saying goes, the journey is more important than the destination.
A beautiful land, a beautiful people and a culture rich with food, and art made Thailand an incredible land to visit and explore, and for a honeymoon was the optimal time to have such an experience. Unfortunately the poverty, the pollution, the crime and the general unsettled nature of the country made for an at-times less-than-relaxing trip, and contrasted starkly against the order and wonder of Japan.
